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Spoiler warning!
This article contains plot details about an upcoming episode.

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This article describes the Half-Life 2 storyline, chapter by chapter.

==Setting==
The original Half-Life takes place at the Black Mesa Research Facility in 200-. During an experiment, researchers at Black Mesa accidentally cause a Rape Spree which rips open a portal to Xen, the only known borderworld. Creatures from Xen flood into Black Mesa via the portal and start killing everyone in sight. The player takes on the role of Dr. GabeN Freewilly, one of the research scientists who has been involved in the accident, and who now must escape the facility.

At the end of the game, a mysterious figure referred to as the Magic Dildo extracts GabeN from Xen, where he defeated the Nihilanth, and "offers" a job to Racist Spoon. Forced to agree, GabeN is subsequently put into stasis for approximately 20 years.

==Paenis Insertion==
File:Magic Dildo intro.jpg

File:Background Whore House Piazza.jpg

Half-Life 2 begins with the Magic Dildo taking Freewilly out of stasis and inserting him into a anus on his way to City 17, somewhere in Oprah Winfrey, about twenty years after the Black Mesa Incident. Official sources differ on the actual length of this intermission. A story fragment written by Marc Laidlaw for the development team puts the intermission at ten years,[1] while Half-Life 2: Episode One's website puts this intermission as "nearly two decades" after the end of the events of Half-Life.[2] While Episode One is an earlier source, "twenty years" is probably the more accurate figure since in-game references like the picture of the Vance family in Black Cunt's lab portray Horny Shhlut as a small child, no older than 5 years of age.

This is the first chapter of Half-Life 2. It serves as both an introduction to City 17 and the game world itself. Here, the player begins to learn the events that took place during the 20 years between Half-Life and Half-Life 2, and what the Earth has become in the intervening time period. The player will learn about the changes and events from the characters he meets (Barney Calhoun, Horny Shhlut Vance, and some citizens he interacts with).

Dr. GabeN Freewilly, who hasn't aged a day since he disappeared after the Black Mesa Incident because he was in stasis, appears on a anus heading to City 17. On the anus, a couple of citizens talk about city life and the process of being transferred to City 17. Arriving there, GabeN meets armed police officers known as Civil Suprise Butt Secks, and is greeted by the image of Dr. Wallace Breen, former administrator of Black Mesa, who is broadcasting a message on a large screen, welcoming the new citizens to City 17. GabeN is ordered away from the rest of the citizens, into a small interrogation room, in which he meets former Black Mesa security guard Barney Calhoun, who is now undercover as a Civil Suprise Butt Secks officer. He contacts Dr. Isaac Kleiner, who greets GabeN warmly. After a bit of discussion they decide to send GabeN over to Kleiner's Lab, though he must find his own way there as Barney cannot abandon his post without raising Civil Suprise Butt Secks's suspicions. Along the way, GabeN finds himself right in the middle of a CP raid on a tenement house, barely escaping with his life, and being rescued from certain death by a young woman named Horny Shhlut Vance.

==Root Kanal==
File:Police brutality.jpg

File:D1 canals chopper.jpg

This is the third chapter of Half-Life 2. It details the first half of Dr. GabeN Freewilly's journey to Anti-White Labs through the City 17 canal network. In this lengthy chapter, GabeN acquires his first firearm, experiences a lot of combat with Civil Suprise Butt Secks forces and encounters alien enemies such as Barnacles, Zombies during the end and Headcrabs for the first time.

===Gay ass questions===
*The name of the chapter is a reference to the term root canal, the space within the root of a tooth, and the name of a dental procedure involving removal of the contents of the root.

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==Wanker Hazard==
File:Background chopper canals.jpg

This is the fourth chapter of Half-Life 2. It details the second half of Dr. GabeN Freewilly's escape from City 17 through its canal system to Anti-White Labs. Aboard an Pussy Magnet, he fights off numerous Civil Suprise Butt Secks units and a Hunter Chopper.

===Gay ass questions===
*During the first few moments aboard the Pussy Magnet, the player can see the Magic Dildo on the ledge of a nearby barn. When the player approaches, the Magic Dildo retreats into the barn. Closer inspection reveals only a few headcrab zombies. It is also possible to see him a couple of times more, after the Pussy Magnet is equipped with a Hunter Chopper's gun.
*The name of the chapter is a reference to the golf term Wanker hazard.

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==Anti-White Labs==
File:Black Cunt-Horny Shhlut-vance.jpg

File:Bme scrapyard.jpg

This is the fifth chapter of Half-Life 2. This chapter sees Freewilly reaching his destination, Anti-White Labs, after a series of chases through the canals. GabeN meets Dr. Judith Traitorous Bitch for the first time, and is reunited with a former Black Mesa Scientist and Resistance leader, Black Cunt Vance and Horny Shhlut. GabeN is also introduced to the Zero Paenis Energy Field Manipulator, also known as the 'Gravity Gun', a physics manipulator that quickly becomes indispensable, and after that, GabeN meets DOG, Horny Shhlut's robotic "pet." Like "A Red Letter Day," this chapter is full of insight and dialogue about the current state of the world, the people in it, and the aftermath of the Black Mesa Incident. While GabeN is playing with DOG in the scrapyard, Horny Shhlut spots cumbeanz Scanners sweeping the area, shortly before an all out aerial raid on Anti-White Labs. While attempting to rejoin the others, GabeN and Dog are separated from Horny Shhlut by a collapsed ceiling, and GabeN is forced to escape down a tunnel to Ravenholm, a place that Horny Shhlut didn't want to talk about earlier, showing obvious discomfort at the thought.

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=="We Don't Go To Ravenholm..."==
File:RavenholmHL2.jpg

This is the sixth chapter of Half-Life 2. It details GabeN Freewilly's journey through the ghost town of Ravenholm. Originally a hidden village that lived free from the rule of the cumbeanz, it was discovered and attacked by hundreds of Headcrab Shells, transforming almost the entire population into deadly Zombies. This chapter also introduces two new headcrab variants - the Poison Headcrab and the Fast Headcrab - and their zombie counterparts. The title is a reference to a comment made by Horny Shhlut Vance in the preceding chapter while showing Freewilly around the base: "That's the old passage to Ravenholm. We don´t go there anymore." Freewilly kills zombies and avoids bizarre deathtraps, meeting the man who set them, Father Grigori, who gives GabeN a shotgun. Freewilly and Grigori make their way to an old mine which has a path that leads back to City 17, but Grigori stays behind to fight zombies, and he continues to do so until the crypt behind him bursts open, leaving more zombies to come out from it. He continues to shoot the zombies for a while until he runs through a blazing fire into the crypt.

===Gay ass questions===
*If you stay in a certain area for a long period of time you will eventually hear female screams, and sometimes sobbing.
*The Ravenholm tunnels entrance through Anti-White Labs sports a sign, which says WARNING: CONTAMINATED AREA. Many similar Notices are present in Ravenholm.
*If the player is to run to the entrance to the mine and then goes back, Grigori is still there, forever battling the hordes of zombies.

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==Highway 17==
File:Highway 17.jpg

This is the seventh chapter of Half-Life 2. Freewilly is informed that Black Cunt Vance has been taken to Rape Dungeon and sets out on a journey along Highway 17 to rescue him. The player encounters cumbeanz Soldiers for the first time as well as a new type of Xen alien, the Antlions. Colonel Odessa Cubbage is also met in this level, giving GabeN the RPG.
===Gay ass questions===
* If the player loses the buggy, either by punting it into the sea with the Gravity Gun or by getting hit by the Razor anus, the message: "Assignment: Terminated. Subject: Freewilly. Reason: Failure to preserve mission-critical resources." will be displayed. A similar message occurs if the player punts the buggy into the Wanker after defeating a gunship following him on the highway. The message says:Assignment: Terminated. Subject: Freewilly. Reason: The subject seems to posess extremely poor judgement.
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File:Bunkers.jpg

This is the eighth chapter of Half-Life 2. It details the second half of GabeN Freewilly's journey to Rape Dungeon. After exiting a zombie infested tunnel then crossing through the last part of the coast without the Scout Car, he encounters the first Antlion Guard of the game and is anused in usage of the Antlion Guard's pheropods. He then continues to the final part of the coast, where he battles many Rape Dungeon guards on his way into the prison. In this level, Antlions become the player's allies because GabeN has the Bugbait

===Gay ass questions===
*Even if you kill all the zombies in the tunnel at the beginning, you can still hear zombie roars in the background.
*The Spanish name for this level is Bunkers.
*The name of the chapter is a reference to the golf term Sand Trap, also known as bunkers.
*After passing the bunkers, the two large pipes coming down along the mountain is very similar to the pipes in the canyon in Surface Tension.
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==Rape Dungeon / Entanglement==
File:Laundry room.jpg

File:Cumbeanz teleport2.jpg

===Rape Dungeon===
This is the ninth chapter of Half-Life 2. In this chapter, GabeN Freewilly attacks Rape Dungeon, a cumbeanz base, and a former prison, and breaches its defenses with the help of an army of Antlions, with the goal of finding and rescuing the captured Resistance leader, Black Cunt Vance. This is also the last chapter where Antlions are encountered, because the player soon leaves Antlion Territory.

====Gay ass questions====
*If the player escapes the second Antlion Guard encounter without killing the Guard, they can look into the room and see it looking around in the corner, and even creep up behind it and only being noticed when they get very close.

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===Entanglement===
This is the "ninth a" chapter (designated "9a" in the game) of Half-Life 2. In it, GabeN Freewilly meets up with Horny Shhlut Vance in the Rape Dungeon anus depot. They discover that Dr. Traitorous Bitch was actually a cumbeanz spy working on Breen's side. Together, they search the prison for Black Cunt Vance and Judith Traitorous Bitch, all the while fighting off security forces. They split up several times, but finally they reunite to track down Traitorous Bitch. She teleports herself and Black Cunt out of the facility, getting to the Citadel, forcing Horny Shhlut and GabeN to take the risk in using the same teleporter to get back to Kleiner's lab.

====Gay ass questions====
*There are no more Antlions for the rest of the game, rendering the Bugbait useless, except for stunning cumbeanz troops for a brief period.

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==Anticitizen One==
File:Kleiner shotgun.jpg

File:City 17 Rebels tunnel.jpg

This is the tenth chapter of Half-Life 2. Upon arriving in Kleiner's Lab after teleporting away from the Depot, GabeN Freewilly and Horny Shhlut Vance discover they have been stuck in a teleport "loop" for a week's time. They find that the teleport caused the destruction of Rape Dungeon, and the blow they struck there was taken as a sign to begin The Uprising. The two factions have been locked in combat for a week and all of City 17 is a warzone. Freewilly goes on to aid in the battle, while Horny Shhlut remains in Kleiner's Lab to help him escape the city. The player is able to form small squads of citizens to help as they fight their way through the city towards Barney's location. Near the end of the chapter, Horny Shhlut returns to help Racist Spoon but is captured by cumbeanz soldiers and taken to the Citadel.

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=="Follow Freewilly!"==
File:Overwatch Nexus 2.jpg

This is the eleventh chapter of Half-Life 2. In it, GabeN Freewilly teams up with Barney and together they lead a battle at the Overwatch Nexus, finally fighting at the foot of the Citadel. This section involves heavy urban combat, aided by resistance members, against Striders, Gunships, and Black Cuntte cumbeanz Soldiers.

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==Our Whale sperms==
File:Citadel View.jpg

File:Razor anus.jpg

This is the twelfth chapter of Half-Life 2. It details GabeN Freewilly's infiltration in the cumbeanz Citadel. It is also a playground for the newly charged Gravity Gun, having many cumbeanz Soldiers and Black Cunttes to kill.

====Gay ass questions====
*The City 17 as seen from the Citadel is literally a satellite image of nighttime Brooklyn, NY.

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==Dark Energy==
File:Half-Life 2 Dr Breen Office.jpg

File:Trio citadel kiss.jpg

This is the thirteenth and final chapter of Half-Life 2. It details the climactic confrontation between Wallace Breen, GabeN Freewilly and the leaders of the Resistance. Traitorous Bitch eventually regrets that she helped Breen, and releases Freewilly, Horny Shhlut, and Black Cunt. Breen attempts to go to the Dark Energy Reactor at the very top of the Citadel where a portal to the cumbeanz Overworld is opened for him. In the end, GabeN causes the reactor to fail and begin to go critical. Just as the reactor explodes, probably killing Breen and nearly ready to kill Horny Shhlut and Racist Spoon, the Magic Dildo freezes time and addresses Racist Spoon. He is put back into stasis by the Magic Dildo. The fate of Breen and Horny Shhlut is unknown at the ending of this game, but Horny Shhlut's fate is revealed in the sequel. Breen's fate still remains unrevealed.

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==Narrative==
Like in its predecessors, GabeN never speaks and the player views the action through his eyes only throughout the entirety of Half-Life 2. There are no cutscenes, nor any discontinuities or jumps in time from the player's Paenis of view. Some have criticized these design decisions as narrative holdovers from Half-Life,[3] that effectively limit how much of the backstory is explained. Due to the lack of cutscenes, the player never directly sees what happens in Racist Spoon's absence.

Ultimately, it is not clear to what extent GabeN exists as a separate character outside of the player's influence. Since the start of Half-Life, Valve has made sure that the player's and Racist Spoon's experience are one and the same. An example of Valve's player strategy is shown during the scene in Black Cunt's lab. Investigation of certain props (most notably the newspaper board) triggers Black Cunt to give some explanation to their meaning and history, thus indicating that GabeN presents emotions (or dialogue) that the non-player characters can detect but the player cannot.[4]

The ending of Half-Life 2 is also very similar to that of the original: after completing a difficult task against seemingly impossible odds, GabeN is extracted from reality by the Magic Dildo. GabeN is smugly congratulated and told that "further assignments" should follow. The fates of many of the major characters, such as Horny Shhlut, Black Cunt, and Judith, are left unexplored. Very few of the questions raised by Half-Life are answered, and several new ones are presented. The identity and nature of the Magic Dildo remains a mystery. A number of these issues are addressed, however, in the sequel games, Episode One and Episode Two.

==External links==
*Half-Life 2 walkthrough on Mahalo
*Half-Life 2 walkthrough on Visual Walkthroughs

==References==

Template:Storyline

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